Most of us know at a superficial level that the only thing holding us back is ourselves but we don’t realise just how powerful we are. Our ability to protect ourselves from potential pain is incredible. Self-sabotage is a misunderstood creature – it’s only trying to keep you from facing rejection! It’s the ultimate “helicopter parent”, swaddling you in cotton wool so you never injure yourself in any way.
Unfortunately, allowing ourselves to experience pain or put ourselves open to potential embarrassment is how we learn. Parents know that eventually they’ll have to let their children go out into the big, bad world otherwise they’ll turn out to be co-dependent, low functioning adults who don’t know how to do anything for themselves.
“Those who have succeeded at anything and
don’t mention luck are kidding themselves.”
Set an intention that it’s time to get over your fears. The luckiest people are also the people who just do it. They get more practice, they open themselves to more opportunity and they don’t take every rejection personally.
The goal isn’t to eliminate fear entirely. I’m not sure that’s possible, and sometimes fear can drive us. However, realise that every human who has ever lived has been just as shit-scared as you. Everyone. They just moved forward a tiny bit anyway, or they died with regrets.
Barbara Streisand suffered from crippling stage fright for years, and that’s why she rarely tours. However, every few years she forces herself on stage. Isn’t the world a better place for her talent?
“Things happen to you out of luck, and if you get to stick around it’s
because you’re talented.”
I know many people who are lucky enough to have the innate talent, but they are too afraid to do anything about it. I’m talking people who have manuscripts ready to go, plays written, unbelievable skills in teaching, cooking or healing but they are too scared to let their talent shine. You’re a little bit scared too, aren’t you?
What are you scared of?
Scared of being so awesome that it will turn you into a diva. Scared of being told you have no talent. Scared of getting constructive feedback from someone you admire or a bluntly worded rejection. Scared that you will become famous and get a stalker. Scared that your partner will leave you or that you’ll leave them. Scared that you aren’t as smart as you think.
Fears can be completely irrational but it’s time to get over them. How? I’ve absorbed the lesson of forcing myself to overcome my fears and it’s now my main strategy.
When I find myself scared of public speaking, I’ll book a workshop date or a teleseminar because I know I’ll show up and deliver no matter what. My fear of making a fool of myself is outweighed by the fear of letting someone down.
The chances of you being told that you’re horrible and have no talent are pretty small, but that doesn’t mean you won’t face rejection.
What often looks like luck from the outside is merely the willingness to do what most people don’t have the guts to do. Most wannabe actors don’t audition nearly enough. Most aspiring writers have never sent their work out to be published and most women don’t get pay increases because they simply don’t ask for them.
“Any fool can have bad luck; the art consists in knowing how to exploit it.”
Why is it so important to acknowledge your fears? Isn’t it negative to dwell on what you don’t want? Absolutely we should focus on the positive and I’m not encouraging you to wallow in misery, but until you face it, you won’t see the patterns that you may have been repeating over and over. These patterns have trapped you and you need to break through to get to the other side. In other words – get over yourself.
Are you ready to get over your fear of being outrageously successful?
When you think about all your goals coming true, what fears come up?
- If I achieve this goal, I’m afraid that…
- To achieve this goal, I’ll have to do things I’m scared of like…
- What’s the very worst thing that could happen?
- These people will hate me if I’m successful…
Awareness is a great first step, so you can start to see how irrational your fears truly are.
Love, luck and abundance,
Denise Duffield-Thomas is a business coach for exceptional women and the author of Lucky Bitch. Get her popular free manifesting guide “The Lucky Bitch Secrets of Outrageous Success” at www.DeniseDuffieldThomas.com
- “As my Life Coach, Rebecca Grennan has been of great value in helping me out of my sluggish and unproductive comfort zone, fueled by fear, to begin setting and achieving goals towards the next phase in my life… found with each session I achieved clarity, motivation and energy… Thank-you for sharing your knowledge and skills Rebecca, I have learned that the greatest resource in moving forward is myself!” — Vicki Haralabakos • Melbourne
Where You Can Take My Classes
'Bex Musical Theatre Jazz was awesome!! A great class for anyone who wants to pursue a career in dance and perform! I think it would be an awesome class for heaps of different dancers...Jazz through to Musical Theatre students. It was so fun also because you just get to dance it out, play it up & have fun with it! Thank you Bex :)
MAD DANCE HOUSE
Level 1-2, 43 Adelaide Street, Brisbane City, 4000
Kicks, Turns + Jumps
Musical Theatre Jazz